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DaBeef57
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Name: Tymon
Location: Orange County, California
Gender: Male
Interests: Football, Baseball, and anything else that involves sweaty men playing with balls...i mean
Expertise: STEELERS FOOTBALL, Loud bodily functions, unpleasant aromas, and making friends throw up...you know what i mean!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/21/2005
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| Las night on "Mythbusters" they researched one of my favorite topics FARTS! THey tested the gastric makeup of "flatulence", attempted to see if someone could die from the odor of a fart, and tested the all important qualities of "the magical fruit" I will now "pass" (get it?) these LIFE CHANGING discoveries on to you: 1. What are farts made of? Glad you asked!!! Turns out, most farts are about 80% carbon dioxide. The other 20% is typically a mixture of oxygen, nitrogen, methane, and other gases that are by-products of your digestive system. 2. Can someone produce a fart so toxic it can be deadly? CO2 gas makes up about .03% of the air we inhale with each breath. The level at which it begins to become toxic to the human brain is about 2% saturation of the air we breathe. At this point, nausea, vomitting, and cerebral adema (swelling) can occur. In order to raise the CO2 level of a sealed 8x8 ft. room, a person would have to produce 22 solid hours of constant flatulence!!! The other gases required times reaching as high as 144 days of solid flatulence! This myth was busted! 3. Do certian diets (beans, dairy, meat, soda) produce more flatulence than others? The gases that are produced in your intestine depends on the food that is being eaten. One of the guys went on a 24 hour "refried bean" diet, and saw his flatulence production increase by almost 200%. That's amazing!! Other diets that were known to increse farting power were the 24 hour carbonated beverage diet, and the dairy diet. However, because meat takes longer to digest because of it's chemical makeup, no change was recorded from the 24 hour meat only diet. See Jeremy....I couldn't really have killed you even if I locked you in a sealed room for 22 hours while I continuously farted into a plastic tube feeding into your air supply. One more important thought to think about: In the past few days, I have heard the words ass, bitch, bastard, hell, and damn on network television, but on the show last night, the word FART was "bleeped" out each time one of the hosts tried to say it. OUTRAGEOUS!!! | | |
| Finally, From the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side .
Now here are the rules from the male side .
These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one :
Subtle hints do not work !
Strong hints do not work !
Obvious hints do not work !
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument
In fact , all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won 't dress like the Victoria 'S Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, You probably are .
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS , the shotgun formation,
Or BASKETBALL.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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| I just watched "Requiem For a Dream"!! I think that's one of those movies that everyone has heard of, but I had no idea what it was all about. Strange thing is...my sister suggested I watch it. It's about a group of people (a guy, his mom, girlfriend, and best friend), who are all junkies. Mom is doing speed because she thinks it making her lose weight. Girlfriend is basically a prostitute to support all their habits at one point. Best friend is a dealer. Shows how far that life will get you. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it. Be prepared to see things you may wish you hadn't. | | |
| So you guys may have heard that I'm moving to South Carolina very soon. March to be exact. Other may be saying "WTF!! why would anyone move to South Carolina?" The simple reason is this...CHANGE. I'm getting rather bored out here and need a change of scenery. That means packing all my stuff and moving across the country. I'm going to be working as a manager at my dad's restaurant! That means I will get to cook, and boss people around for days on end (two things i love to do and I think i'm pretty darn good at). Definately looking forward to the new experiences and challenges that await me on the East coast. More info to follow! I'm out like the Seahawks in Chicago!! ( I know...that was below the belt) | | |
| hey friends...let's see how well you all know me. go to my myspace page and take the test i made for you. Hmmm...jeremy you better win!! | | |
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